don't think! Do it!

I didn't write here for awhile already! I guess it's time to do it.
I'm in some strange mode, actually it's not a mood, let's say strange feeling.... Everything is great, but I don't feel like...
I had a great weekend in Tallinn with friend of mine, really enjoyed our time :) I've been in Belgium at 8th of March, I always happy meeting my friends. As usually with Luka we had fun, starting from Latino night club and finishing Martiny nights :) with Nadi'ka we were waking around of Brussels. Even in rain weather she was so kind and we made a sightseeing :). I'd call our time in Brussels "quality more important than quantity" :)
I have a new interesting project in EXCEDEA, the investment infusions come very quickly in Ukraine, I'm proud of that I'm from Ukraine! (my play list on 40% consist of Ukrainian song :D)
We had MC days in the Forest, it was wonderful, I even didn't expect. 5 girls were growing together, pushing our mind work in topic which we preferred, it was new Marjam's technology after AOH! I'd like to go to Art of Hosting seminar too :) 2 days gave me more probably than some working week.
I enjoy my social and personal life, I feel freedom, finance independence and responsible for my decision. I'm traveling a lot. In my plan Vilnius - Kaunas (Synergy). Copenhagen - 60th years Anniversary, Stockholm - sightseeing with friend :)
I guess I determinate to go to internship after my term in MC Estonia. I have my EP form in myaiesec.net. I have a good XP in business sector, but I work usually in a SME sector, I think I miss XP in multinational company, after I can compeer and make final decision, what I like more...
I've been thinking that I have a passion, but now I'm not sure about it, I have some many reason, first of all I'd like to work with my strengths and to do work which is relevant, to have a meaningful job. I want to leave something. I can be a part of system, where nobody could see my job or to make a big step and do changes, new project etc. I have some though, which I even sometime don't want to accept! Why I'm afraid to do not typical steps for society? I'm becoming more rational and relational and I guess my eyes shine less and less, sometime I have feeling I'm losing my natural inner passion and beauty, becoming to person whom influent the society and life rules.... May be I'm afraid to come back home and just tell seriously that I'm going in Asia for 1 more year or going to USA on 5 year to sturdy or I have other opportunity in Europe and to get married is not in my plane for next year. What am I afraid????
In my mind some vision like in a movie or book, everyone wants it, everyone dreams about it. I guess my education and feeling post Soviet Union Countries that life should be beautiful and its matter of reaches. But if I we don't have meaning or value behind of it's boring....
I have pretty good life in Estonia, each area in my life I may say 4-5 balls... (from 5 balls) :)
"If we don't know what you'll lose you're not concentrate on." Good idea, but does it mean that we should also have a challenges?
I'm still dealing with my report, what is press me... But I'll manage, I don't have any option
I'm thinking about other education abrade, master or Ph.D. or MBA. But it's a lot of preparation, I have just start to do it.
Now the main question how to create a time for creativity, stop running.... It should be a something simple, just go to do massage, rest and create or I should visit more my favorite book cafeteria, where I can just rest looking though the window or looking at pictures...
I have to go to sport club, it should help to fresh my mind :)
I don't like my wondering feeling.

INNA YOU HAVE TO DECIDE, STOP THINKING & TALKING, PLEASE DO IT!
COME BACK TO INNER HAPPINESSES.
BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT!!!

p.s. I didn't expect so many random ideas on a post :) Looking forward martyshki's reunion conversation. Thanks Marjam for your open mind nest and creativity, that you're present:D
p.ss. Going to cook :) I hope not just because I'd like to avoid a work, just because I'm hungry already, I'm human!